Sometimes, our internal urges are stronger than a gentle Water cleansing, and require a more direct, upfront confrontation. I suggest taking a winner-takes-all, no-holds-barred, running into the wind, Shiva-esque, take no prisoners... whichever metaphoric approach strikes your fancy. In other words, throw yourself willingly (at the Soul level) into whatever seems daunting and of great peril to the personality. It may well be dangerous, no doubt you will be affected. Transformed, even.
It is helpful to review the ground-rules in applying this procedure. Whenever you act 'righteously', meaning in accordance with Divine Will & Natural Law, you cannot be defeated. This is a basic fact. One will be granted the exact measure of patience & endurance required to complete the task, freely flowing forth from the Universal & Infinite supply. All resistance is illusion, and will fade, given enough time.
The Divine Plan has unlimited time (or more accurately, the exact amount of time required), as do Her followers. There is no need to be perfected, merely be committed to working with Nature in the situation. However, and this is crucial, one cannot blink, nor allow the personality to drag oneself into a 'fight'. He who fights is lost.
Courageously standing for Divine Will always comes with privileges. Your personality is absolutely correct in forecasting its inadequacy. This presents an opportunity, not a disaster. How can one learn to rely on Faith in Divine Love, Nature's inherent power to overcome all opposition, unless a situation presents in which it is an unquestionable necessity to proceed? It is impossible to learn Faith from the comfort of the couch.
When one is faced with a beast of an internal battle, it is wise to tag in a fresh (and invincible) teammate, namely the Divine Principle (aka the Nature Within). If it seems impossible to confront, perhaps it is. This means that a miracle is needed. Step one in generating miracles, make absolutely certain that your aim (goal) is in line with where Nature is Truly directing you. You don't need to get your mind and/or emotions (or even the body) on board, sometimes, this just doesn't occur.
Just leap. It will be rough, the personality shall see to that. But it will also happen. What was impossible will become possible. Success! There's the miracle! And now growth is free to march on! The bigger the leap, the greater the reward.
Eventually. Probably not at first. Don't waiver, or you may waste an opportunity to clear a deep-rooted, longstanding issue. Don't worry though, if you miss it, it'll circle back again after a time. But, if you manage to push through, a recurring thorn that has plagued you for years can be permanently resolved.
With great risk comes great opportunity. Lock this concept in your mind, you'll need it when things start looking bleak & impossible. You'll make it through, but only if you press on.
Good luck, and God be with you!