Force, Finesse & Fantasy (or Health, Wealth & Happiness)
There exists a balance between an active life of forced outcomes, ever punctuated by unappreciated consequences, and a more passive, laissez-faire approach relying on the mere passage of time to fulfill fantastical expectations. Neither path leads to contentment, as in these cases, either too much physical effort is combined with insufficient mental consideration, or an excess of imaginative mentation is left unsupported without concrete action. A middle road entails the development of a certain quality of finesse. Details matter far more than we tend to realize in our lives.
We often feel we can easily reverse decisions, consequences & outcomes, or else we feel completely enslaved by our prior actions. The Truth is somewhere more reasonable. Large, inaccurate decisions can be corrected by small actions. It is wise to employ existing inertia to steer the course, rather than waste energy in combating situations directly. This is as true of mental & emotional issues as physical difficulties.
Take Anger, for example. One can attempt to fight the energy of this emotion, but that tends to become repression, or more immediate self-implosion. Once we accept reality, that we are in fact angry, for more or less justifiable reasons, by that very realization, we are freshly empowered with an ability to choose our next move.
If we come to see our emotional excesses as friends, not foes, we will see that they represent a great gift of energy, albeit in great need of transmutation. Anger is demanding our attention, and an increase in movement or activity with regards to a particular topic or scenario at hand. It grants us both the motivation, and the impetus to effect real & lasting improvements.
Anger becomes a problem when we do not listen to her requests (demands). We prefer to continue on doing that which is comfortable (to the lower self's mode of perception), even when this is in fact quite unpleasant, and the direct cause of great personal misery & suffering. Say what you will about the lower self, it is no wise nor gracious actor. It knows no productive or healthy means of handling any emotion, excessive or reasonable as it may be. It lashes out, seeks an escape mechanism, of forces the body to breakdown somehow. Our Higher Self, well-versed as it is in the wise management of all things, can step in if we allow Ourselves to.
Rarely (perhaps never) does any event or situation require an emergency response, most especially 'true' emergencies. If we can accomplish it, we should ensure that our energy does not escape out personal bubble before it is transformed into Love. Again, details matter. A 'minor' attitude, expressed to/at/upon another, creates consequences. We cannot see this Truth until we cease our constant externalizations.
Our 'rough edges' are not endearing, any more than the scales of leprosy, or the hives of an infection. They merely demonstrate to others our internally 'diseased' or maladjusted state. We should attempt in all things to eliminate & erode these imperfections, to the extent we are presently capable. One must realize their personal 'rough stone', and know that others are working with different foundational inconsistencies of integrity. Also, many hide their True 'stone' beneath a curtain of socially developed 'perfection'. No matter, be solely concerned with your own sculpture project. Success is achievable.
Later on in the process, more focus is spent on the refining details, while at first one needs to fashion a basic shape/structure to work with. Anger & Patience, Virtues & Vices, are all refined & minimized until no longer problematic. Recognize your Anger (etc), don't fight or ignore it, but also do not encourage it further. If you need to take time, take some. If you need to remove yourself from a situation, do so. It will gradually, but permanently, depart from your life if you remove your focus upon its effects, which is directly aided by decreasing them.
One of these effects is the strong desire (and tendency to satisfy this desire) to bring to a situation a force commensurate to the emotional energy felt, that is, an excess of force. Some individuals, understanding the dangers of this, experienced as a backlash of unpleasant life consequences, avoid any kind of response at all, in a subconscious (or possibly conscious) attempt to prevent overreaction. None of this works out in the end.
We are either attaching to our Anger, or to our Fear of that Anger. These extremist attachments (as all attachments ultimately are extreme) pull us away from our Center. Finesse requires a strong Center, an objective viewpoint, and a cool head. We are not our Anger. It is within us, we cannot be within it. Reflection helps us to deeply 'know' this Truth, as even if we remain unaware in the heat of the moment, a continuous practice of reviewing our emotional experiences gradually comes to inform even these stormy times.
Time, like a mighty river, can be a strong ally in wearing away at our excesses, but we must apply ourselves to the necessary work, or time will merely crystallize (solidify) our problems. Crystallization is caused by working against the growth processes of Nature, either actively, by fighting, or through the laziness of the uncultivated life.
We need not 'fix' ourselves, but we are given 'homework' by Nature & our Higher Selves. If we learn to do exactly what is reasonable, going no further into the overkill of self-micromanagement, we will grow abundant in Spiritual Health, Wealth & Happiness.